Pooing into your hands and rubbing it onto your face...

j_ga @ 2007-01-27T05:48:00

2007-01-27T10:57:52Z

My guilty pleasure is watching infommercials; but more specifically music compilation infommercials...
When I got home tonight I watched the Time Life infommercial for their "Classic Soft Rock Hits" collection.
It was hosted by the guys from Air Supply( no joke). You know your career is at an all-time low when you're hosting infommercials and singing snippits from your hits from 30 years ago on an accoustic guitar on some phony set.
Not only that, but one of the dudes wast actually wearing denim jeans with some kind of wierd embroidered patchwork thing happening on them. Truly amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lE6Htee0sA

That is all.

will i be strucketh by lightning???!

2007-01-25T01:55:53Z

I found a website that has sound files of any old church hymnal you can think of.
Like this one for example:

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/non/sv/ostoregu.htm

It's the Swedish version of 'How Great thou art', aptly titled: 'O Store Gud'.

Oh dear LAWDDDDD.

                  I
                  I
                I
   ----------------------
                  I
                I
                  I
I
                  I

j_ga @ 2007-01-24T17:37:00

2007-01-24T22:37:31Z

Stolen from Kat's journal...

Ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you!

zip zam zap!

2006-11-20T10:07:06Z

Who remembers this gem???!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-myr2X56n24

It was probably my most favourite video of all time when I was a kid.
I think it marked the beginning of my unreasonable paranoia that I'm constantly being surveilled.
Thank you Youtube for letting me relive my unzipped childhood.

j_ga @ 2006-10-26T04:17:00

2006-10-26T08:20:30Z

Okay so, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! From Elliot: And from these guys:

j_ga @ 2006-09-21T21:24:00

2006-09-22T01:26:03Z

Holy shit, Wierd Al, you never cease to amaze me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mBGODdzzVw

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

2006-07-20T21:09:39Z

Some fuckhead stole Scott's video Ipod from the College Street YMCA the other day.
It's understandable because he left it on top of his locker. An honest person would have turned it in, but there aren't too many of those left in the world.
But wait, it gets worse... Today some other fuckead, or perhaps the same fuckhead, actually smashed his lock off and stole his jeans, wallet, and keys. What the fuck?! I'm so pissed off about this it makes me want to puke. I hope I get the chance to smash that theiving dickwad's face in to a million pieces.
I can't believe how fucking shitty people can be. We're cancelling our memberships at the Y today. That much theft is just fucking ridiculous, and Scott is obviously being targetted now.

UGH!

I-Talians

2006-07-10T19:24:32Z

http://tonaz.altervista.org/zidane.html

Play the game, it's FUN!

j_ga @ 2006-03-30T00:34:00

2006-03-30T05:36:35Z

I have something to share, and this is some seriously funny shit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8&search=leprechaun

My sides hurt from watching that.

sick motherfuckers...

2006-03-10T07:05:37Z

I was walking down Queen Street with my friend Danni. I guess we were in the Queen and Landsdowne area when we passed this very slow moving, rather large and frightening looking man on the street. As soon as we walked past, the disgusting pig horked at us! I guess he was silently protesting us passing him on the sidewalk, but who knows really? Anything goes in cracktown.

It was raining quite a bit so neither of us could really tell if his spit actually hit us, but it was fucking disgusting nonetheless. I hope he didn't give us TB from his sick hork.

That is all.

j_ga @ 2006-03-07T11:27:00

2006-03-07T16:37:41Z

These fancy new cars look like penises.
Kind of like the car Peter bought on Family Guy when he was trying to one-up his well-hung son.

That is all.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

2005-12-13T18:03:45Z

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

From my family to yours...

With all my love,

J-GA
xox

j_ga @ 2005-11-26T11:13:00

2005-11-26T16:29:27Z

Last night I got a real taste of 'parenthood'...
In my obsessive-compulsive, mentalist behaviour, I opened the door to the lobby which separates my apartment and the apartment in the upstairs part of the house to make sure I 'locked the front door'. To my dismay, the woman upstairs had left the door leading to her apartment open, and Elliot immediately rushed in; as he always does when he gets the chance. The only difference this time being that it was 3:30am, and we couldn't exactly go chasing after the idiot to make sure he wasn't tormenting the two little de-clawed kitties that live upstairs. So basically I ended up camping out on the couch with the door leading to our apartment open, hoping our wayward son would eventually come home without having caused too much commotion upstairs. I barely heard a sound other than Elliot periodically running around in various rooms upstairs, so I'm seriously hoping he didn't shit anywhere, or scratch up some furniture, or even worse, kill one of the little kitties! So I waited patiently like a parent waiting for their ill-behaving teenager to get home from a session of underage drinking or sex. Eventually I nodded off, but was awoken at about 7am to the sound of our bastard son crunching on his kibble. Now Elliot is not a very vocal cat, but after his little late night adventure in the apartment upstairs, he was meowing up a storm trying to convince us to let him back into that part of the house.

I swear, he is THE WIERDEST cat I have ever owned. Bar none.

I think we're going to keep his adventure up there hush-hush in case he caused some serious damage to the apartment, because knowing Elliot, it is definately within his power to cause mass destruction. He very well may be the re-incarnated soul of a serial killer or something like the Chucky Doll.

j_ga @ 2005-11-25T12:25:00

2005-11-25T17:27:30Z

A man who loves you is a man who willingly buys you 'lady products' like it aint no thang.
An entertaining man is one who buys you Midol PMS for 'next time', so you won't be an evil cow in about 4 weeks.

j_ga @ 2005-11-07T21:09:00

2005-11-08T05:16:48Z

Lately, I have nothing much to say. Not just in this thing, but in general. Tonite someone asked me what's new and exciting?
I'm sure there are new things, even if there aren't exciting things, but sometimes I clam up and can't be bothered to talk about much of anything... I think I am becoming increasingly anti-social in my old age.
As for really really new things, I invented a new animal. It has yet to be ACTUALLY created in a scientific way, but I'm sure someday soon it will be done with relative ease.
The animal is called the WOLFOX. I think it's pretty easy to figure out which combination of animals constitutes the WOLFOX, so I'm not going to go into any detail with it here.
I will include a sketch however.

BEHOLD!

j_ga @ 2005-10-24T13:43:00

2005-10-24T17:36:48Z

Does anyone have any ideas where I could find a cheaply priced wig in Toronto besides Malabar?
I've been all over and can't quite find what I'm looking for.
I need an auburn 60's flip wig, so I can be Emma Peele.
Help me and the Gods of Halloween will smile upon you with their shiny pointed teeth.

j_ga @ 2005-10-24T13:40:00

2005-10-24T17:31:56Z

http://www.fradical.com/Prostitute_costumes_for_tots.htm

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

j_ga @ 2005-10-17T11:28:00

2005-10-17T15:30:22Z

I really wanna have a Halloween party.
Not a gigantic Halloween party, but a scary little one, with scary treats, and frightening sights and Halloween sounds. What is everyone doing on the Friday before Halloween??? I'm not certain about this whole thing, but I want to put my feelers out and see what the word is...

halloween!!!

2005-10-11T23:35:38Z

Two entries in one day.
My my my, I must be bored...

Aren't they frightening Halloween ghosties???
The one ghost is throwing a plate of mashed potatoes and gravy at the other ghost. SPOOOOKYYY!!!
I threw Elliot in there on a leash for a laugh(as IF he would wear a leash!)

Also, I think I'm gonna be this for my non-scary Halloween costume:
I already have a pretty awesome pair of knee-high white boots I got in China town last winter.

YAY!

"Fighting evil by moonlight,winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon..."

bleghhhhhhh...

2005-10-07T20:47:27Z

I'm still extremely bored. If I don't find a new job soon, I'm going to lose my mind...
Tommorow I think I'm hopping on the GO train homeward bound. Can anyone explain to me how the GO Station works? Every time I go there I don't know what the hell I'm doing or how the hell I even end up getting to my destination. I tried to read the online schedules, but g'dammit, they're confusing and wierd. Why do bus schedules and schedules of any kind in general always have to be in military time? I can do the conversion no problem, but I just don't get it?! It makes me feel like it's wartime or something.

I'm hoping Smelliot will surrvive for 2 days without me and Scooter. He's been known to leave trails of shit around, or fling it out of his litter box when he gets worried we're not coming home. I'm glad his days of knocking drinking glasses off the counter are over. I remember once coming back to the basement apartment Scott used to live in, to find poo everywhere and broken glass all over the floor.
Like there was poo on the walls even! I don't know how the hell he got it on the walls?! I tried sending him to Scott's parents' place in London, but apparently he's been banned because last time he was there he demolished Scott's mother's fancy leather couches, the little fucker. He's pretty much been banned from my parent's house for scratching my dog's eye. So the guy has pretty much fucked up all of his chances of spending Thanksgiving with either one of his parents.

Scott insulted my pumpkin pies last night because they were still pretty fresh out of the oven and very flaky and gooey. I don't know why that guy just can't lie and compliment me on things. A lady needs reassurance that her baking is top notch, even if it isn't. For that reason, my Aunt Lucy continually brings her 'creations' over to my Mom's house, and we smile while eating them, when they pretty much taste like crap. That's the last time I make pies. It's not worth the expense when you can just buy them for much cheaper. For 2 pumpkin pies, it costs about $20-25 to make. That seems like a bit of a rip to me. Also, rolling out pie crust with an empty paper towel roll and a bottle of rum because you can't find a rolling pin anywhere really sucks.

I feel like there was soooo much activity going on this past September with the overrtime, that I'm incredibly bored and antsy not just at work but in general. I feel like I really need some socializing or some entertainment or something. Will somebody please entertain me???!

Alright I'm outta here,
Quittin' time...

blah blah blah...

2005-10-07T02:31:51Z

Tonite I made 2 pumpkin pies and a big batch of delectable double chocolate cookies with evaporated milk in them, so they are super chewy! I like baking, but somewhere along the way I forgot to make myself dinner and now I don't feel much like cooking. G'damn. It's one of those nights where I am completely bored and don't feel like doing anything to alleviate the boredom. Any ideas? I'm excited to go home on the weekend and eat all kinds of food. I'll probably have to get rolled back to Toronto on my belly. I'm going to bring some roomy pants with a drawstring or something to make my life a bit easier. I can't wait to see my old friends and party Niagara region style, which sadly, doesn't have much style at all, but dammit, it's something! Not only am I bored, I'm actually boring. This is probably the lamest post in the history of livejournal posts. I think I'll go now. That is all. Happy Turkey Day everyone! P.S.---It is Scudmore's Birthday on Monday, so indulge the little bastard with some well-wishing. I still have to buy the guy a gift. I'm thinking I'll probably just get him a few new packages of training pants and some formula. My mother always says it's good to buy people things they can really get some use out of. :p

j_ga @ 2005-10-05T10:36:00

2005-10-05T14:37:30Z

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

i just HAD TO

2005-09-29T23:40:27Z

Stolen from all over the place. This looks mildly entertaining...
DO IT!!!

Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST.

CAT-SON?!

2005-09-29T23:36:23Z

Tonite when I got home from work I could hear Elliot cooing in the bedroom because he saw his mini-Doppleganger, I like to call 'Mini-Elliot', outside the window wandering around and meowing, etc...
I've never seen such a look of confusion and amazement on Elliot's face before. I wish my allergies weren't so bad so we could catch Mini-Elliot and make him our own. Mind you, I imagine he's somebody else's kitty, and we'd be pretty much stealing him. Also, I fear that if caught, original Elliot might eat him.

On a sidenote, I feel very proud of Elliot because he's finally learned how to meow properly and make cat sounds that don't only consist of high-pitched 'REE REE's... Last night it seemed like he really wanted to jump on the bed, but instead he just stared at me and practiced his new meows. They're very birdlike little meows. It makes me feel that either Elliot is finally losing some of his crazy edge, or he's maturing and becoming a man/cat.

I'm sure many of you are wondering why I spend so much time talking about my cat, and mostly it's because I love the guy and I think of him as my cat/son.
There, I called him my cat-son. Pffffttt...

(That one goes out to Sister, 'May you live in peace to love and serve the Lord...')
That little quote came straight out of my Catholic-schoolgirl memory-storage vault.
One day I was reciting scads of bible songs to Scotty in the car.

Reflect on this one for a moment... Those of you who know it can hopefully recall the tune.

Like a Sunflower that follows every movement of the sun... (doo doo doo doo)
Like a Sunflower that follows every movement of the sun...

I will turn toward you, and follow you, My God...

In simplicity, charity I follow... (doo doo doo doo)
In simplicity, charity I follow...

And so on and so forth.

cucca and more cucca...

2005-09-08T02:45:57Z

I discovered that lately I have one of those stomachs that hangs over my jeans when I sit down.
I guess I hadn't noticed in a while because I've been wearing skirts pretty much all summer.
I feel embarassed about my overrhanging gut. I try to hide it when I ride the subway. Occassionally I suck it in for as long as I can so it goes undiscovered, but usually I just throw my purse over top of my lap and do a crossword. Sometimes when alone, I make a bum with it.
I blame too much night eating and too much beer. I also blame extreme laziness about excercising all summer, and too much ice cream from the Film Buff. It's so delicious and so affordable since Scotty starting working there. I also blame extremely bad posture. I want to place a wooden stick between my shoulder blades and the lower part of my back to keep it straight. It could have sexy results; it could suddenly make my bust size appear larger!

See what happens when you work some bullshit 12 hour day, you come home, eat a meal, and sit in front of the computer screen writing a livejournal entry trying to communicate just a little bit with the outside world before you go to bed. The sad part is, if I get any replies, I won't be able to check them until this time tommorow night.

Lately I've been wearing this ring Scott's Gramma gave him.
It has an 'S' on it in cursive font, so it almost looks like a fancy 'J'.
It has a very boxy shape to it and looks like the kind of ring Joe Pesci would wear on his pinky finger. It doesn't fit my pinky though which is sort of disappointing. I really wish it did.
It would give me more 'street cred'. Often times I think I don't have nearly enough 'street cred'.

Anyways, tonite I whipped up a little pasta number with some fresh garlic, yellow and red peppers, eggplant, onions, etc... all from my Dad's garden. Man, fresh veggies from the markets on Roncesvalles are good, but fresh veggies from my Dad's garden are SOOO GOOOD! I could eat that stuff all day long. The garlic is especially tasty. It's almost spicy!

Alright I've rambled on long enough. This is basically like having a fake conversation with someone. I guess it's more like having a long, drawn-out, nonsensical conversation with myself.

Good night to all and to all a good night.